The Red Horned Sloth

I returned home from 70 degree weather in Myrtle Beach to sleet, snow and freezing temperatures. I wanted to hibernate, not work-out, but I knew to meet the fitness goal I had set for myself this month, I would need to hit the gym at least four of the next five days. I decided to ease back in slowly though and allowed myself to sleep in a little longer. I could hit the gym after work. I spent much of the day with a tiny Fitness Angel riding on one shoulder and a Red Horned -Sloth riding the other arguing with each other about whether or not I could delay another day before heading to the gym again. In the end, the Angel won, and I made the decision to hit the gym. I had already had four days off, it was time to get back to work.

I left work about 4:45, and headed to my house to change into my work-out gear.  I entered through the kitchen and ran into my daughter perusing the pantry for food. She wasn't finding anything, so she asked if I would run her to the store to pick some stuff up to make for dinner. I started to reply with a "Yes", and then stopped myself. If I ran her to the store now, the likelihood was I would not make it to the gym. I had already spent much of the day convincing myself I needed to go, and if I delayed now, the Red Horned Sloth would likely win. Instead of saying "Yes", I offered to pick up the groceries at the store after I finished my work-out, but I felt a small twinge of guilt creep in. I had spent most of my adult life changing my plans to accommodate my children's needs; I was conditioned to answer "Yes", but I reminded myself I still was saying "Yes" just on a different time-line.

Charlie thanked me, but said not to worry , she would figure something out at home. I asked if she was sure, and she made the point that by the time I finished at the gym, picked up the items and brought them back for her to cook, she would be eating dinner at 8 at the earliest, and she'd rather not wait that late. My Mother guilt siren started flashing loudly. I should take her to the store, I would just have to make sure I got to the gym the next four days. But my blog guilt started kicking in too.  If I didn't make it to the gym, I would have zero wiggle room for unexpected problems. I could be setting myself up to fail this week's goal. It had been terribly hard to motivate myself to get to the gym today after four days away, tomorrow would definitely be harder. I did something at that point that I would not have done in the past. I headed upstairs and got into my work-out clothes. By the time I came down, Charlie had picked out something to make and was busily pulling out the ingredients. She was perfectly happy, and I had beaten back the Red Horned Sloth.

I realized in that moment that it was OK to start saying "Yes" to myself more, and "No" to my children more often. They didn't need me to fix every problem, or make everything better all the time. They were adults now. I left for the gym empowered with a new sense of independence.