It was drizzling outside yesterday morning, so I decided to take a hula-a-hoop break instead of a walk. I've become fairly proficient with my hoop now and can keep it circling fairly mindlessly, so I often find that to be a good time for quiet reflection. My mood was much like the weather, overcast. I was feeling the pain of my friend's grief at the loss of her beloved dog, anticipating having to say goodbye again to another one of my BFFs and struggling to quell the anxiety I was feeling about my youngest daughter's return to Florida.
My usual go to remedy for stress relief has been a trip to the gym, but yesterday morning, while the workout was solid, it didn't tamp down the rage of emotions inside. Perhaps if I could just keep the hula hoop spinning I could release the endorphins, calm the mind and allow the sunshine to peak back through. So I hooped and hooped some more, and then I set to writing.
The truth is there are certain feelings you have to work through, not just work-out through. Like most of us I suspect, I would rather push aside the uncomfortable feelings, for the comfortable ones, but I've started to realize it is sometimes important to allow myself the time to feel sad or mad, anxious or fearful. My friend needed to grieve for her beloved Milo. I needed to allow myself a few moments to mourn my BFF's' departure, and I needed time to process my concerns about my daughter and where they were stemming from. I couldn't run the problems away, but running could still provide the time to reflect and some momentary solace.
Thanks Ange- It gets better with time. We have spent the last week just feeling our feelings as they come up. Working through them, as you say. Lots of crying, but lots of happy memories too of our beloved Miles.
ReplyDeleteHope you heart is comforted too.
xoxo