Rollercoasters

I have never been a huge fan of roller coasters. I hate that point at the top of the ride when you suddenly crest the ridge  and you are keenly aware that within seconds you will be plummeting madly towards the ground not really knowing if your cart will stay fixed to the rails or go careening wildy off the edge. Even though those few seconds only comprise a small portion of the ride, they are enough to sour the experience for me. I find I just don't get my kicks out of scaring myself. I don't like sky diving, bungee jumping or base jumping either. It's not that I'm not adventurous, just not into adventures that bring gut wrenching drops.

This past year has been a bit of a personal roller coaster ride. There have been a lot of ups and downs and twists and turns. I find I'm not much of a fan of roller coaster rides in my personal life as well, but unfortunately, I can't just choose to skip the ride; I'm already on it. This journey I am on has helped mitigate the problems. It has provided a great outlet for stress as well as a needed distraction at times. Unfortunately, every roller coaster has those drops that all you can do is hang on tightly while you race towards the next valley. When I'm hanging on, it's a bit harder to write, and it is mostly during those times that my writing slows down.

This last month I've definitely been in a free fall; I've been challenged both physically and mentally. I've been fighting Bronchitis for over a month and have seriously struggled to find the right balance between pushing myself and allowing myself to rest and recuperate. I've had good days and bad days, productive days and unproductive ones, successes and failures. One thing that has become clear to me though is that on this personal quest there will be no finish line marking the end of my journey, no trumpets or prizes announcing my win, no holy grail waiting for me at the end. I'm not going to wake up one day to suddenly discover that I am that super fit girl on the cover of Self magazine and be able to pronounce an end to my journey. It has to be a journey for life. It is going to be an ongoing process with ups and downs, highs and lows and things that make me feel uncomfortable, but this is one roller coaster ride I won't be walking away from. I simply can't afford to.