I once heard that for an action to truly become a habit, you have to do the same thing every day for thirty days. After thirty days of repetition, it becomes a habitual part of your daily routine, and you simply continue to do it without consciously thinking about it. While I never really believed that exercising would become habit to me after a simple thirty day period, I did believe that once I passed the year mark of exercising regularly, I would have accomplished the habitual part, and would not need gimmicks ( my blog) or encouragement to keep me motivated any longer. This last year has proven me very wrong.
It has been quite some time since I last posted, and that silence has been a reflection of my commitment, or lack there of, to a healthier lifestyle. This time last year, if you had asked me, I would have told you that I was still very dedicated to my quest even as I was already demonstrating signs of a lessening commitment. Truth be told during the first six months of 2012, I still found myself a fairly regular visitor to the gym, but I certainly wasn't as strict with my schedule or as willing to push myself to the next level as I had been the previous year. As I neared my daughter’s wedding date in September, my exercise routine went from fairly regular to irregular. I stopped making fitness a priority as I focused all of my free time on wedding planning. Ironically, it was after the wedding was over and free time was plentiful again, that I really lost my focus. At first, I told myself that I deserved and needed a break. I promised myself, that I would start back into a good routine at the beginning of October, which turned into November and finally December.
I threw my back out just before Christmas and spent most of the holiday supine on the couch. In addition to my bad back, i was fighting a third sinus infection in a four month period. My body was telling me that I had let it down, and my head was echoing the same thing. I knew I needed to get back on track, but guilt, pain and illness, all seemed to be standing in my way.
I began physical therapy in early January, and while I haven't been released from PT yet, I did get approval to start back to a limited work-out routine in the gym in between sessions. Monday was my first day back in the gym and consisted of a very slow walk on the treadmill. It certainly wasn't at a pace I could be proud of, but it felt good just to be making the effort. All I can say is, I am taking this journey one day at a time again, and I’m going to use whatever gimmicks it takes to help me stay on track. I've come to realize that it can't just be about getting healthy, it has to be about staying healthy. I will have to renew my commitment each and every day for the rest of my life, because living this lifestyle will never be habitual for me; it will always require effort. I will always struggle with the voices in my head that whisper, " It's OK to skip, just this one time!" But this past year has shown me that it is far too easy for “Just this one time...” to turn into, “Not today, not tomorrow, not the next day.” Ultimately, it comes down to choices. Today I made good choices. Tomorrow I wake up and fight myself again.
