So as I headed to Dick's Sporting Goods to buy my motivational gear, I pondered the questions. What will be different this time? How did I go wrong those other times? I still didn't have the answers when I got to the store, but I headed to the women's section and began looking for that perfect motivational outfit. There was a super cute Adidas black running suit with lavender accents calling my name. I grabbed it to try on, but then caught sight of the price tag. Hmm...maybe I should put it back, or maybe I should at least try it on....it was my motivational outfit after all. I scanned the floor and to my left I saw a series of clearance racks. Ever the good shopper, I kept the suit, but proceeded to the clearance racks to see if there were any good deals. There were bras, shirts, shorts, pants, jackets, and a variety of mismatched pieces. They were definitely less expensive, but finding a cute matching set would be a difficult and time consuming task and the super cute Adidas suit was still calling my name. That's the precise moment when it hit me...where I went wrong last time and what was different this time.
The long and short of it was that I was never truly committed to my actions before. On those previous occasions where I set out to make a change, when I honestly look back, I really was only giving myself lip service. I knew I should make a change, but deep down a small inner voice was still whispering to me, "You're not too heavy, you're one of those lucky girls who doesn't have to work out to stay thin. You could firm things up a little, but if you miss a day here or there, it's not the end of the world! You can always catch up tomorrow". The problem was I'd eventually stop making the effort to catch up and days would stretch into weeks and weeks into months until the next time when my very sweet and supportive husband would quietly ask if I was thinking about exercising again anytime soon. And so I'd try again and the cycle would start all over.
This time, however, there is a difference. I am truly committed to this lifestyle change, and I decided to do this without any prompting from anyone other than my small inner voice. I recognize I can't wait to fix myself until later, later is now. I've spent the last year unable to even attempt to improve my level of fitness. I had surgery combined with a difficult and extended recovery that kept me pretty much sedentary for nine months, and now I have finally reached a point where I can move again, but I am out of shape and at an age where my body doesn't automatically return to square one simply because I got up from my sick bed and started moving again. It is going to take a year to regain the year I lost in terms of fitness, but I feel blessed to be well enough to take the first steps.
So how did I come to this epiphany shopping for a work-out outfit? I've always told my children that actions speak louder than words. In the past my actions were clearly demonstrating my lack of commitment from the very beginning. Every few years when I would get re-motivated I would go out and buy one motivational outfit to kick off my challenge, but seriously, who can work out with one outfit multiple times a week. If you know me, you know my laundry piles amply illustrate that I do not wash clothes every day or every other day, so buying only one outfit was just a reflection of my low commitment level. It's not that I believe you have to buy multiple fancy outfits to get the job done, but you should invest in a few tops, bottoms and a good pair of shoes if you are truly going to work out regularly. I was illustrating my lack of commitment by investing in the bare minimum from day one.
So this time my first big change started Sunday, I put back the one running suit and spent the next hour scouring the clearance racks. I purchased multiple items, so I would have enough work out clothes combined with what I still had at home that I could get through a week of work-outs.
